Permission to be Imperfect

Permission to be Imperfect

It has been a week since I participated in the 3 days of healing that I desperately needed. 

The past 6 months have challenged me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. God has been stirring in my heart for months. Trying to tell me that I am missing something. 

But life continued – 

I allowed our busy schedules and bustling here and there to keep me from all God had to share.

At C4C… I listened!

Amidst 450 wonderful adoptive Mommy’s - I met with my Maker.

He met me where I was.

He met with me when I was broken…

I could write about the long list of things that I learned during this retreat: altering your parenting practices, devotions with your children, improving your marriage, bringing health through dealing with the past, and books and blogs galore! Maybe another day. Today I will share my journey to celebrating imperfection.

Being broken in the arms of my Jesus and soaring!

Permission to be imperfect

I am a perfectionist.

 I fit the Type A personality to a T!

Until God blessed us with our children I did not realize how many things I did in “my strength”. I have always set my mind on goals and just pushed until I reached them. Will power. That is what has accomplished things, even though I thought it was faith. Nothing was impossible.

Nothing was impossible until … I met 5 sweet, broken children who

needed MUCH more than I could ever give!

This trait has been a blessing and a curse transitioning from O to 5 kiddos.

These characteristics helped us establish routine and organization quickly, but they weighed heavily on my heart.

I felt surrounded by people who were waiting for us to fail. I spent every waking hour trying to hold everything together; heaven forbid someone should realize that adopting a sibling group was challenging me breaking me! I couldn’t let anyone know that I had moments where I: lost my temper, was impatient, and did not always know what to say when tears from years ago came forth. People could not know: that the clothes we wear at home have stains and holes, our toys were mostly broken yard sale bargains, or that we did not do every worksheet sent home by J’s teacher.

Everyone else has it together, so I will just figure it out.

How much time I have wasted. God has been calling me, to come and rest in His promise that when we are weak HE is STRONG! His desire is for us to come humble and broken. 

My pride has kept me from experiencing peace in these promises.

These walls crumbled during my weekend.

The permission to be broken was so freeing.

The command to be humble gave me hope!

Broken and Humble…

This week I have fallen MANY times.

I have: been less than patient with my children and husband, frustrated when nail polish is now all over the stairs, children, and walls, been agitated that the laundry pile is growing and nap time is three whole hours away.

Yet, I can reach for the peace that comes when my God takes over.  The strength I feel in Christ is unattainable when “I” have it all together. I am now so thankful for the events that break me, because it leads me to a place where I meet my Jesus and he takes over.

Verses that have encouraged me:

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness.

2 Corinthians 11:30

He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Isaiah 40:29

The Lord lifts up the humble…

Psalm 147:6

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

James 4:6

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.

James 4:10

Now you can see why I have peace in my broken, imperfect world. 

Because in HIS strength, I am strong!